Friday, December 7, 2007

New Game: Neo-Opposites

Have you heard about the new game? It's called neo-opposites. The neo-cons invented it. Here's how it works:
  • Step 1: Rattle sabres above head of dysfunctional country. Best if said country has loads of oil reserves.
  • Step 2: Game and prime and bludgeon the intelligence community until they say "said country (with oil reserves) most certainly has weapons of mass destruction (WMD)."
  • Step 3: Announce to the world: "Intelligence has demonstrated WMD. A threat exists."
  • Step 4: Invade country with purported WMD (and said oil).
  • Step 5: Exhibit beyond the pale incompetence after Step 4 invasion.
  • Step 6: "Oops, no WMD. Bad Intelligence!!! That's ok, we did find some oil."
  • Step 7: Look for something to distract everyone's attention.

So far, pretty straight forward, don't you think?

Ok, here's where it gets complicated. Here's where the opposites come into play. Pay attention. We go back to Step 1, but there's a complication. It goes like this:

  • Step 1: Rattle sabres above head of another dysfunctional country. Best if said country has loads of oil reserves.
  • Step 2: Shamed and infuriated intelligence community says "said country (with oil reserves) most certainly DOES NOT have weapons of mass destruction (WMD)."
  • Step 3: Announce to the world: "Intelligence says no WMD. They were wrong last time. They must be wrong again. Hence: A threat exists."

That's the opposites part, in Step 3. And I think you can see where the game is headed.

So the game is called neo-opposites. We're in Step 3 right now. But the world doesn't seem to be buying it. That's got the neo-cons all stopped up.

The latter condition is referred to as neo-constipation. That's not supposed to be part of the game.

Stay tuned.